


We Are Doing Our Best

by Larrygustavsson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-23
Updated: 2013-07-23
Packaged: 2017-12-21 04:10:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/895624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larrygustavsson/pseuds/Larrygustavsson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Its the biggest night of their lives but they cant be together. Louis drinks himself until he forgets his own nam</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Are Doing Our Best

And we don’t know how, how we got into this mad situation…

* * *

“Louis.”

The boy with his head on the table heard Eleanor call for him. Or at least he thought it was her, since he was left alone with her but she was just here because it was her job. She didn’t like him, no one did, not even the fans. He didn’t blame them, he would never blame them. He’s been rude to fans in the public eye, but to be honest he would never ever be mean to a fan. It wasn’t him, and he was just a puppet which management loved to play with.

“What?” Louis slurred out. His mind was fogged by the alcohol, his body intoxicated.

“I think you should stop,” she said quietly, reaching her hand out to rub Louis’s back, but Louis just shook his head.

“Why would I? Shouldn’t we be celebrating? Harry’s got a new girl! C’mon El! Have a drink,” Louis slurred out bitterly, feeling the words—especially Harry’s name—burning his throat. He never meant for this to happen, this wasn’t supposed to happen. Harry shouldn’t be out with any girl, Harry shouldn’t be doing any kind of sacrifice. Harry should be here with Louis. Harry shouldn’t be the one with a girlfriend, it was Louis’ job. They promised they wouldn’t hurt Harry, they promised they wouldn’t harm him.

Louis shook his head angrily and stood up, stumbling towards the bar asking for more alcohol. He just needed something, anything, to take the pain away.

“Louis,” Eleanor said, following him. “You should really stop,” she said, sitting next to him. But Louis shook his head, taking two shots and drinking them. He just wanted to forget. The alcohol didn’t burn this time, he already had too many drinks and he couldn’t feel it anymore so he took another one. He was about to bring it to his mouth but Eleanor reached to stop him.

“What the fuck, El?!” he called drunkenly and she sighed, pulling him up.

“You should eat something,” she said, knowing Louis had an empty stomach. Louis shook his head and started laughing at nothing. He could feel nothing but pain, he thought that by drinking the pain would go away, but it wasn’t like that—it was actually worse and it was overwhelming him.

“They think he is a manwhore,” he slurred out, laughing still. He actually found it funny. How could someone possibly think of Harry as a manwhore? Eleanor looked sadly at him and nodded.

“I know,” she said rubbing Louis’s back as he started stumbling towards the door. He just needed to get out. He wasn’t thinking straight, he didn’t even know what he was saying.

“What about a double date?! Wouldn’t that be fucking adorable? Especially today! Spending the biggest night of your entire career with love of your life! Isn’t it the way it’s supposed to be?! Maybe management will be fucking ecstatic now,” he yelled looking around and laughing bitterly, he was just fucking exhausted.

Eleanor wrapped her arm around Louis’s waist and brought his arm around her shoulder, guiding him outside. “You know he loves you,” she said, trying to make him understand and walking to Paul who was by the exit door.

“No! He doesn’t, he fucking agreed to go out with that whore,” Louis spat bitterly and shook his head, kissing Eleanor’s cheek. “Good thing that I have my girlfriend here,” he said laughing. He never referred to the brunette as his girlfriend, she was just a friend doing him a favour. Louis stared at Eleanor then laughed, stroking Eleanor’s face awkwardly while supporting all his weight on the thin girl.

“Right Louis, you agreed to go out with me because you love him,” she reasoned. The tables had turned and Louis wasn’t happy. Paul saw Louis, and Eleanor struggling to guide him out. He walked to them and looked at Eleanor with worried eyes, exchanging thoughts without saying a word. Eleanor just nodded, telling him silently how bad things were this time and Paul just winced slightly. It even hurt them, it hurt to see Louis and Harry so worn out, so exhausted and emotionally drained.

“Pauly Paul!” the intoxicated boy said, squeezing Paul’s cheeks. Eleanor couldn’t help but giggle slightly, though her worried look returned rather soon. Louis was just drowned in alcohol.

“There are paps outside, so try to make him look like he isn’t incoherently drunk,” Paul said with his thick Irish accent. The brunette nodded and placed her hands on Louis’ waist.

“Hey Lou! How about we have a bite after this?” she asked, trying to keep Louis’ attention on her so he wouldn’t say something really stupid that he would regret the next day. Louis laughed and started mumbling things to himself that the girl couldn’t understand.

“Tomorrow is Christmas,” he finally said loud enough for her to hear him. Louis was smiling, with an amused look but pain in his eyes. Eleanor arched her brow but just nodded.

“Yeah Lou, Christmas,” she said as Paul opened the door and guided them outside, pushing the paps and fans away. Eleanor guided Louis to the car that was just a few steps away. She prayed that Louis would keep his mouth shut or at least not out himself.

“Tomorrow is Christmas!!” he kept yelling, making no sense and the fans just laughed, thinking it was funny and adorable. Eleanor urged Louis, smiling at the fans and practically pushing Louis towards the car until they finally got in.

Once they were inside Louis spoke again. “He left me on my birthday,” Louis laughed bitterly.

* * *

…only doing things out of frustration, trying make it work but man these times are hard…

* * *

Louis was in his hotel room, all by himself. Eleanor left him on the bed, lying on his stomach with his head to the side in case he threw up. He was alone again, not even Liam was here. He was too busy catching up with Danielle and his family just like the others, except for that one person.

So he took out his phone and scrolled through his contacts, finding the number he was looking for. Rage, pain, hurt, pity, and frustration ran through him as he dialled the number without hesitating. He didn’t have to wait long; Harry picked up rather quickly.

“Louis,” the curly-haired boy breathed out, sounding relieved.

Louis started crying as soon as he heard that familiar voice that he loved so much. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I-I- Forgive me!” he rambled on, trying to say everything that he was thinking. “I didn’t know you hurt so much! I didn’t know how it felt! It feels like shit Harry,” Louis cried into the phone not being able to organise his words and make much sense.

“I am dying, fuck- Harry forgive me! If I could, I would break up with her now but- fuck I’m so fucking helpless! I can’t do anything to fucking change it!” Louis yelled into the phone, hating himself. “I’m so sorry! I- I know why you get so fucking upset, Harry; it hurts me, it’s hurting me, you should be here! You shouldn’t be there! Please Harry, come back I need you…” Louis slurred through his tears. He felt so powerless, he felt so used by their management, they did whatever they want with them and it was breaking Louis to a point that he doubted could be fixed. Louis never wanted this, he just fell in love. Was that such a bad thing? Maybe he didn’t deserve love, maybe he didn’t deserve Harry, maybe he was meant to be unhappy.

“Louis,” Harry said, his voice tight with tears.

“I’m sorry,” Louis whispered again with tears in his eyes and hung up quickly, not wanting to hear anything. He just wanted it to be over, he didn’t want to pretend anymore, he wanted to love Harry, to shout it to the world, to marry him but he couldn’t and it hurt him. He couldn’t even look at Harry anymore, management wouldn’t let him breathe the same air as Harry.

* * *

Oh, these times are hard, they’re making us crazy…

* * *

Louis’s was curled into a ball when Harry walked in. He was whimpering and sobbing Harry’s name between some ‘sorrys’ and gasping for air.

Harry’s heart broke once again. He walked to Louis and wrapped his arms around the smaller boy. This wasn’t the way it usually worked.

“It’s okay, I’m here.” He whispered the words Louis always whispered when he found Harry in the same state, usually after spending a day out with Eleanor.

“Harry,” Louis whimpered, snuggling into his strong chest. Harry could smell the alcohol, Louis was reeking; he closed his green eyes, trying to ignore how painful the thought of Louis drinking to forget was.

“I know you don’t love me anymore,” Louis said “I’m a prick! I let them take control. I should’ve stopped them I-I,” Louis started rambling on between tears and whimpers. Harry snapped his eyes open and shook his head, cupping Louis’s beautiful face between his hands, wiping those painful tears with his thumb.

“No no Louis, we both agreed, we said yes to this,” Harry whispered, kissing Louis’s tears away. Louis’s body shook with a wave of sobs. He was meant to protect Harry.

“It hurts! Harry, it hurts so much,” Louis said, gripping Harry’s wrists. “I don’t think I can take it anymore,” Louis cried. “It’s not supposed to hurt,” Louis whispered brokenly. The look on his face, broken and depressed, shattered Harry’s heart. Those eyes that usually shone so bright and were full of life were now dark. Those wrinkles when he smiled, even that smile he always kept, wasn’t there; instead there were some lifeless, blue eyes full of pain—exhausted blue eyes. Harry was sure his eyes were just the same since he was hurting too, but it wasn’t about him, at least not tonight.

“I-I know Louis, it hurts me too,” Harry said, fighting his own tears. Usually Louis was the strong one, he was the one comforting Harry. But today, he was broken, and he was the one needing comfort this time.

“If it hurts maybe it isn’t meant to be,” Louis said quietly, looking down, not believing himself. Harry pulled away and looked at Louis with a surprised look.

“What?!” Harry hissed. “You really think that Louis?” Harry asked with tears in his eyes.

Louis nodded brokenly. “It’s too hard and we are hurting everyone,” he said. It was true, they were hurting the band, the fans, and even Eleanor. This time Harry was the one laughing bitterly.

“No Louis,” he said. “I’m not letting you give up on us. We’ve come too far to back down now, the damage is done and we can’t change it!” Harry yelled, his eyes filling with tears, desperate to make Louis understand.

“But Harry-“ Louis was cut off.

“No Louis! What happened to all those promises we made?! What happened?! You have a fucking girlfriend to protect us! You’ve done so much for us and you’re gonna let it all go to waste?!” Harry said, thick tears streaming down his face. “No Louis!” he yelled, getting on the bed again. Louis looked up at him as Harry kept speaking. Harry placed his hand just above Louis heart. “Remember what you told me? That it beats for me,” Harry said weakly, looking into Louis’s eyes. Louis choked up with his tears and looked down, ashamed of himself. “I know it hasn’t given up, it still wants to fight,” Harry whispered. “Your mind might be tired, but not your heart, Louis,” Harry said in a low whisper. Louis whimpered and wrapped his arms around Harry, wanting to feel the younger boy close.

“I’m sorry,” Louis said. “It’s just so hard,” Louis cried into those slick curls. He didn’t want Harry to hurt; he didn’t want people to think Harry was a whore when he was the kindest person alive; he wanted them to know the real Harry, his Harry.

“I know,” Harry said, breaking down too and crying into Louis chest. “I know Lou, I know,” he whispered.

“I just love you so much Harry,” Louis whispered against his hair, melting into the body.

Harry whimpered. “Don’t give up Louis, please,” the younger pleaded, just as exhausted as Louis. “For me.”

“I won’t,” Louis whispered. “I promise, forever,” he said closing his eyes and feeling more warm tears stream down his cheek.

Harry cried into Louis shirt until they both felt exhausted. Then they cuddled, tangled limbs wanting to be as close as they could.

A few hours had gone by when Harry looked at Louis, who was sleeping with a tight grip on Harry’s shirt, scared of losing the taller boy. But he had to leave, he had to make it look like he spent the night with Taylor. Harry swallowed another sob, trying to be the stronger one this time, and kissed Louis’s forehead.

“I love you,” he whispered, untangling his body from Louis and taking his hand away from his shirt. “Forever,” he whispered, watching how Louis winced in his sleep when Harry got out of bed. Pulling on his shoes and giving Louis one last kiss, the curly haired boy looked at the sleeping Louis sadly before lowering his head and walking out of the room.

 

Don’t give up on me baby.


End file.
